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‘I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.’ – Women aren’t possessions, Donald. ‘I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.’ – We’re glad he’s so concerned about the obesity crisis. ‘My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.’ – Ew. ‘I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.’ – Possibly (/definitely) one of the creepiest things we’ve ever heard… ‘It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!’ – Definitely not missing the point… ‘The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.’ – And not that fabulous barnet of yours? Good people don’t go into government.’ – Well at least he’s showing some self awareness. ‘One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. That’s to be expected.’ – Because of course, no woman can resist Trump’s charms. ‘All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say “Rosie, you’re fired.”‘ – Trump has infamously hated on Rosie O’Donnell, making crude, sexist and misogynistic remarks about her on multiple occasions. ‘If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell.
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‘Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.’ – Don’t worry, his racist outbursts aren’t just directed at Mexico. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.’ – Just another casually racial slur, then… They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. ‘When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. ‘I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. Just more very dishonest media!’ – This was his response to that Meryl Streep Golden Globes speech… Mature, Trump. For the 100th time, I never “mocked” a disabled reporter (would never do that) but simply showed him “grovelling” when he totally changed a 16 year old story that he had written in order to make me look bad. ‘Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn’t know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.’ – Trump always has charming things to say about successful, prominent women – but he stooped particularly low with this comment about Huffington Post founder. ‘Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. He can do much better!’ – Clearly Donald is a Team Edward kind of guy… She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. ‘Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. ‘An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud’ – Trump was determined to ‘expose’ President Obama’s birthplace back in 2012, and even claimed to have sent investigators to Hawaii in the hopes of proving Obama wasn’t born in the United States. Love!’ – Not the best way to kick off the New Year Donald… ‘Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. It’s hard to find a great dress for this inauguration.’ – Hmmmm All the dress shops are sold out in Washington. ‘We are going to have an unbelievable, perhaps record-setting turnout for the inauguration, and there will be plenty of movie and entertainment stars. ‘Watched protests yesterday but was under the impression that we just had an election! Why didn’t these people vote? Celebs hurt cause badly.’ – Umm they did Donald. Sorry, people want border security and extreme vetting.’ – Sounds a little Orwellian…
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‘Any negative polls are fake news, just like the CNN, ABC, NBC polls in the election.